Sound the alarm

Sorry, friends.  It has been two months since my last entry, and the truth is I don't have a good reason for it except that:

*the GRE stressed me out beyond all imagination

*I started a new job

*I've been getting ready to go out of town

*I planted a garden

-and-

*I started running (in place of vegging)

Basically, life happened, but never fear - I'm back yet again.  And I have something to get off my chest.

I must be insane, and I know I'm not the only one.  Day in and day out, I make the most vain attempt at manipulating myself, and though it fails time and time again, still I try.  It's like I'm trying to trick my own self, which unless there were two of me in the same brain (I hear that happens to some people), this is a completely impossible feat, and so far, that has proven true many times over again.  But I'll do it again today.  And you may be asking yourself (all 4 of you - my readership has grown [exponentially!]), what on earth is she talking about?!  Well, dear friends, it's....

My alarm clock.

That's right.  I set my alarm clock 7 or so minutes fast with the intention that when I wake up in the morning and see the time on the clock, I'll really think it's later than it is, which should motivate me to not hit the snooze button and move a little faster in the morning.  Then, as I'm walking out the door, I would look at a different clock in the house and realize, oh, silly me, it's not 7:56, it's 7:49!  And I would be able to proceed leisurely to work.  In theory (perhaps the one mentioned above about having two people share one brain), this could work.  But there are a couple of problems with this - namely that I'm not manipulated by my self, which I think is a good sign, even if it doesn't get me out of bed on time.

The gravest problem associated with this habit is that it forces me to do complicated math in the morning.  In case we haven't met, I don't function well in the morning.  The thinking mechanism in my brain is not generally engaged until I'm awake for at least an hour to an hour and a half.  So, when I look at my alarm clock after being jolted from the most restful sleep I've ever had (the last hour or so of sleep always is the best for me, which is unfortunate because by definition - being the last one - it has to end every single morning), I look at my clock, which says "6:36," and I have to then figure out how to subtract 7 from 36.  Math is not my forte - I'm a lover of the humanities - so this can be a slightly arduous task when fully alert.  At God's hour in the morning, it's extremely challenging, but I have to do it because I know that the clock's time isn't right, and I can't be duped into just believing it.  I know it's not.  Because I set it that way.

So, why not change it, you ask?  Why leave the time the way it is?  This is an excellent question, but I just can't.  And the reason is that somehow I've been programmed to do this to myself.  It could be a cultural phenomenon - one about which some anthropologist should conduct a study.  And that researcher should pay me to be one of his studied subjects.  And I could get money for my silly problems.  That's why.  Yeah.  That's one of my most favorite rationalizations.  And I'm sticking with it.  Thanks.

The end. :)