Now there's something you might hear me say when I'm being silly and trying to sound as gangsta as possible for a lil white 30-year old woman; but the truth is, I am "skerred." I'm scared of lots of things. Lots and lots of scary things.
Let's be honest - being afraid is a normal part of life. I think Wikipedia says it best: "Fear is a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. Fear is apparently a universal emotion." Our society is totally freaked out... just pay attention one day to how many times these words come up in 24 hours... So, it's ok to be scared, right? Of course it is! I'm normal! Yay!
•~•~•HOWEVER•~•~•
As with every good, universally-accepted truth there is an exception. There are, of course, legitimate things that warrant fear (e.g. oncoming traffic if you're in the middle of the street, violent criminals, spiders because they will indiscriminately bite you and inject their venom into your bloodstream which could maim or possibly kill you... just for example). But because we don't have to fear attack by dinosaurs (see note below) like our ancient ancestors, we've turned that primal sense of fear out onto benign modern-world things. Well that, good people of the innanet, is why you have me... to explain just how out of control our fears have become. And, as per my usual, I will be happy to use my own self as a glowing example of this insanity.
[If you do ever find yourself in need of figuring out whether, mathematically, you could outrun a particular dinosaur, here's an assignment for you: Could You Outrun a Dinosaur?]
One such foundless fear drives me absolutely bonkers. You ready for it? Can you handle it? *Sigh* ... I dare say this because you might be one of these people who subscribes to this foolishness... but you have to be told... it is...
• Catching a cold or other illness from not wearing shoes / going out in the cold / not wearing a hat.
But like LeVar Burton said, don't take my word for it. Take a ride on the reading rainbow, kids. I didn't have to search long (approximately 10 seconds) before I found this VERY informative link: http://www.everydayhealth.com/cold-and-flu/colds-and-the-weather.aspx. But I won't make you read all of that right now. You save that for your other spare time. ;) Here are some excerpts:
While mom may have warned that you would catch a cold from going outside in chilly weather with a wet head or without a jacket, experts say it's a myth.
"These are old wives' tales from an era when we had no ability to treat fever or other complications of infection. Folks created myths to explain what happens to protect their children from getting sick."
On the contrary, cold weather appears to stimulate the immune system, according to a study by the Army Research Institute of Environmental Medicine.Now... I've actually heard the fail argument while making this case - and this does come up in the above article - that freezing temps can you make you sick, i.e. you could be subjected to hypothermia. Yes. This is true. And hypothermia is not an 'illness' like the common 'cold.' So, thanks. You can also have a heat stroke from staying in the sun for too long. But we do not fear going on the beach without shoes because we may get 'heat stroke.' That's absurd, yes? You are surely starting to see my point of view... ;)
So that is that. There are some things, though, that I fear that, well, aren't "fears" per se, but rather really high anxiety-inducing "problems." Two of those things are...
• Having food stuck in my teeth
• Rolling over an unseen bumper in a parking lot (you know, like the concrete ones that they have in each parking space)
Whenever I'm out at a restaurant, I very obsessively check my teeth after I eat, never feeling satisfied that ALL OF THE THINGS are completely dislodged. My friends regularly poke fun at me for this, but I can't be convinced. I go completely obsessive-compulsive over it... and it's scary. I don't eat corn on the cob for this reason. Don't judge me.
The other thing is, admittedly, maybe a tinge ridiculous... but again, I can't help myself. If I am parked in a parking lot, and I am leaving, and there is an open space in front of me such that I could pull forward and not have to back up (which is TERRIFYING because I could hit something in my blind spot which I cannot see, and it probably is a small puppy or a child)... *deep breath*... I can't do it. So there I am, I am stuck between backing out of the space and pulling forward to leave the space, but I am utterly trapped. Why? Because in front of me there might be a large concrete bumper and I might roll over it and cause immense amounts of damage to my poor bunny Rabbit (... and my car really is a Rabbit. VW Rabbit.)
Yeah... I go through that every time I'm parked. You might not see it. It might all happen internally for a few moments... but it's happening. It's amazing that I ever manage to leave a parking lot at all. Now that is scary.
Now that I have gotten all of this out of my system and have dredged up all these thoughts of fears and things, I need calming. I might need a tasty beverage... and after a day of hiking, I'm starting to think a check for ticks is in order... scary much? :-/
No comments:
Post a Comment