IMAGINARY

im·ag·i·nar·y /iˈmajəˌnerē/ adj. existing only in the imagination

I've spoken to lots of people who say that, as a child, they enjoyed the company of imaginary friends. This is perfectly normal and natural, and you only think it's weird if you didn't have any. Here's a diagram to help you understand:

I did have imaginary friends - 3 actually. Jenny, Johnny, and Michael. There were these twins, Jewlby and Dewlby, but they were rarely ever around, so I don't really count them. I actually remember Jenny, Michael, and Johnny quite fondly, though. And in case you're wondering - because you likely didn't have imaginary friends and you're sort of wishing you had - I couldn't see them per se. They existed only in my mind... so I had a pretty clear picture formed in my mind's eye of what they looked like, but, no, I didn't see people who weren't there. That's not imaginary friends... that's something entirely different. If that is something you experienced, then perhaps you are reading the wrong article right now. Maybe start here. And good luck...

I happen to believe that having those imaginary playmates was a really good thing for me. I could entertain myself for hours by playing school with them or playing Barbies or whatever else it was I liked to do as a child. But that's not to say that all imaginary things are good. There is one imaginary thing in particular that I regard with great disdain...

IMAGINARY NUMBERS

Now there is a screwed up concept. Some of us struggle to understand numbers that exist, and some mathematician smarty pants had to go and discover numbers which do not exist. Here is an excerpt I found from a website called The Math Warehouse:

Complex numbers enable us to solve equations that we wouldn't be able to otherwise solve. Examine the following example:

Without the ability to take the square root of a negative number we would not be able to solve these kinds of problems.

So... basically, mathematicians can just decide that if there's no solution to a problem, they'll invent one. Yeah. There's a great idea. Hey! I just realized what a mathematical genius I am! I can divide by 0! Watch!

The expression ÷ 0 can be represented by q. So:

5 ÷ 0 = x
5q = x

Yay! It's a new expression with no meaning! Problem solved!

I remember very vividly being in math in high school and studying these ridiculous imaginary numbers. The teacher was reviewing some problems, and came to me.

"Stacie, what is the answer to i² + 2i = 4i • x ?"

To which I of course replied, "I don't believe in imaginary numbers."

She didn't like that answer very much.

I wasn't a bad kid. In fact, I was a good kid and did all the good kid things... except for homework. I really, really hated doing homework. But more than that, I hated things that were supposedly very rational but really weren't at all. Like math.

At least my imaginary friends didn't give me headaches and make me feel stupid. They were awesome. That's why they get to stay in my heart. And why math does not.