[P]erceived [M]adness [S]yndrome

It's madness, I tell you. I recognize this. If you are a female, you will very likely know exactly what it is I'm talking about. If you are a male, do not attempt to understand it... logic will not help you here. Rather, keep this as a weapon in your coffer for safekeeping. It might just save you one day. Trust Stacie.

So, let's just get it out there - P.M.S. is real. Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, they tell us, is what many women suffer from just before the arrival of 'Aunt Flo' and brings with it a myriad of symptoms, including, but not limited to bloating, headaches, fatigue, anxiety, irritability, mood swings, cramps, getting unreasonably and disproportionately angry at what might otherwise be considered "not that big a deal," the urge to kill another living thing, throwing glass objects, etc...

But let me help you here - be ye male or be ye female - if you have been the victim on either side of these symptoms, it might be useful to demonstrate what is happening with a metaphor. Because I love metaphors...

When a woman is experiencing P.M.S., it feels like she has been bound & gagged by a crazed, angry woman who hates her and has stuffed her inside of her crazy self and wants her to suffer and she is trapped inside and can hardly do anything to control the lunatic that has taken over her body. I know what this sounds like... I am fully aware that even suggesting that having P.M.S. feels like possession - not by a demon, but by a crazed person - is mad. But it's true... it's what it feels like. That said, when I feel like this, I'm still in there... somewhere. My voice is too muffled to be heard in there, but there I am no less, screaming that I want out. I can feel her spewing her craziness all over my life and I don't want her to, but she's too strong... she can't be stopped... not for a couple of days anyway. Sometimes I can peek out just long enough to mutter "I'm sorry" to whatever poor, innocent person has just gotten his or her head bitten off by the creature that has taken over. Otherwise, I am powerless.

All that to say, ladies, do your best to beat that beast, but don't beat yourself up in the process. Guys, as they say in Latin - or don't say, as it were - miserere nobis - Have mercy on us... us poor souls who are tormented and didn't mean to scream at you while throwing the hair dryer swiftly and apparently intentionally toward your head.

This has been a public service announcement by The Organization for the Enlightenment of Men and Women, a subsidiary of Ponderings & Pensées. We're here to help.