Adoption

I find myself saying all the time that someone is so adorable and wonderful that I want to "adopt" him or her, and sometimes I get teased for this, but it's true. These are very rarely children, though. While that type of adoption is a fabulous thing, what I mean by this is that I just want to scoop this person up and keep him or her around me to just exude that preciousness. I realize that this is quite strange... and it's difficult to explain, really... but allow me to try...

It's just that I like surrounding myself with sweet-hearted people who have a kind presence. I don't actually mean I want to be financial responsible or care for them long-term. Though, I will happily cook for them. :D

That said, if you would like to submit yourself for consideration for "adoption," please check this list of requirements. If you match all of them (none of this 4 out of 5 business), then email me at staciedenola{at}gmail{dot}com with the following:

• Your name
• Your date of birth
• Where you were born
• Why you would like to be considered for adoption

Here are the requirements:

1. You must be "precious." This is characterized not only by a high level of cuteness but also sweetness and gentleness.

2. You can have parents already; you do not have to be orphaned. In fact, because of the connotation of "adoption" here, I'd prefer if you do have parents and/or can support yourself.

3. Generally, you have to be between the ages of 18-24 or 65-80. But there have been a few exceptional 30- and 40-somethings that have made the cut.

4. You cannot be ornery.

5. You have to be fun with a healthy dose of silliness.

Fine print: All applications will be considered but few will be accepted. There is a chance that if you are reading this, you have already been adopted and just weren't aware of it. If you attempt to submit false information, you will be banished and will forfeit all rights to be considered for adoption again. Adoption does not afford you any privileges or rights other than a special place in my heart. Adoption is revokable. This offer will expire at 12:01a.m. Central Standard Time on 6.18.2012.