See, I don't know about you, but I can't eat a chocolate chip cookie without at least thinking about ice cold milk. But where did this urge come from? I mean, sure, my mom probably gave me cookies & milk as a little kid, but what even made her do that? One word: indoctrination. Years ago, in a secret meeting behind closed doors (because when has a secret meeting been held with the doors wide open? ...), the chocolate chip cookie people got together with the milk people and formulated a GENIUS marketing strategy, the details of which have never been revealed. Even if you don't particularly like milk, you still know that cookies & milk belong together. You know that. Down in your heart you know. Have you ever asked yourself why though? Ever wondered why the store can run out of certain goods but never cookies or milk? Yeah... I know why. And now you do, too. Consider yourself empowered... to know this. Because I know full well that I can't stop eating cookies & drinking milk when I do. I just can't do it. It would be in vain to even try... the indoctrination was completed years ago without me even realizing what was happening.
Are you happy cookie & milk maker people?!? Are you proud of yourselves?!?
Shameful. Someone should have called them all out on this long ago. Maybe I could have been saved.
I am on a strict wheat-free diet and therefore largely immune to this form of manipulation. While I sympathize with your plight, I cannot share your fate. I don't know what the endgame of this conspiracy is, but I'm certain it will result in the inevitable demise of all who are thus indoctrinated.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. As one of the lucky ones, I shall spread your story far and wide.
Good man. Tell the people.
DeleteI'd be curious to find out how different people enjoy both substances together... My standard way of doing it was always to dip my cookie in a glass/mug of milk until the cookie and a nice soft-just to the point of melting-texture.
ReplyDeleteI recently had a conversation with an ex-colleague of mine who suggested I try his method of 1/2 filling a cereal bowl with oreos then pouring ice cold milk over it and diving in with a spoon!
What does everyone else do? :)
I don't like cookies with milk. The cookie gets mushy and soggy, and often doesn't even fit in the glass. Then I end up with crumbs and debris in the milk! I'll keep them pure, and unsoiled, thank you very much.
ReplyDeletePerhaps I didn't articulate that well... when I say I like cookies & milk, I mean at the same time... not together at once. You're right - soggy cookies are no good. But there is (for me) one grand exception here - and that's for Oreos. Otherwise, keep the cookies out of the milk. Oreos are just meant to be dunked. Sorry, Jim. ;)
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